Sunday, April 1, 2012

Happiness in Life

I ran across a recent post on Google+ that was entitled "12 Things Happy People Do Differently." This list included:
1. Express gratitude.
2. Cultivate optimism.
3. Avoid over-thinking and social comparison.
4, Practice acts of kindness.
5. Nurture social relationships.
6. Develop strategies for coping. 
7. Learn to forgive.
8. Increase flow experiences. 
9. Savor life’s joys. 
10. Commit to your goals. 
11. Practice spirituality. 
12. Take care of your body.


This got me to thinking.  Am I really happy?  I surely should be.  I live in a beautiful area, in a nice home, with a wonderful dog and the man that I love.  But yet, I find myself complaining, worrying, fixing (it is the fixing that can really get you in trouble!) ... not taking the time to truly appreciate what is right in front of me... busy moving on to the next "thing".  


So, I decided to do exactly what the list warned me against, and compare myself to "happy people" in the interest of science and enrichment.  Where am I lacking in this "happy people" equation?  That statement alone should make #3 jump right out at you!


I know I feel gratitude. I certainly say "thank you" enough in my day, but is that really gratitude?  Gratitude is being able to sit back and really, I mean REALLY appreciate what just happened.  Both the simple and the amazing. Like when my husband gets up early to walk the dog enabling me to get to a garden sale on time.  What a kindness, especially from a man who would sleep until 10 if given the choice! 


The other day, an older gentleman at the hospital saw me rushing to a meeting and asked a question. The conversation went something like this:
Optimist: "Can you do me a favor?" 
Pessimist: "I think so, if I can." 
Optimist: "can I borrow some of your youth?" 
Pessimist: "I'm not sure I have much left to share!"  Of course, I was trying to be funny!  One liner comebacks are my forte.  He didn't miss a beat, though. In his booming voice, he yelled out: "Have a fantastic day sweetie!"  I was certain that he was one of those "happy people!"  I have to admit, it worked.  I chuckled and continued on to my meeting with a smile on my face, a little lighter in my step. Talk about cultivating optimism


When I look at the rest of the list, I know I definitely have some items down pat. I certainly have goals - some might say I'm an over achiever.  Planning a wedding in 4 months, remodeling a home.. I am driven, that is for certain.  I see my goals to completion, for better or worse. Also, I do take care of my body with regular exercise and a fairly healthy diet. 


However, forgiveness is something I still dole out sparingly, and only after ruminating on things for a period of time, although that amount of time is shortening with each practice.  Rancor just doesn't taste as good as it used to. Letting go has been a particular challenge that I am certain prevents me from making the top 10 of the "happy people" list. 


I had no inkling as to the meaning of  "increasing flow experiences, " a foreshadowing that I had something to work on here!  "Having spontaneous joy while doing a task."  Really? Does that mean I need to be elated whilst I mop the hardwood floors. I mean really, does that happen in life?  I sure wish sarcasm was on the list of what "happy people" were good at! Sigh. 


Ding. Dong. Oh, gotta run. Pizza just got here! I am going to practice spontaneous joy whilst eating my pizza, and I promise to SAVOR every last bite! 

Write-on! 




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